Thursday, December 01, 2005
its so early to start blogging... everybody blogs at night or before bed but me?? in the morning.. at the start of the day...
Yesterday something really bad happen.. i had a so-called huge arguement but then it leads to something shock... he just said something which makes me really confused and want to cry or shout things out loud.... it have gone more than three years and he easily want to let it go... i was just asking a few questions and he suddenly make a sudden decision... i cant mention it but i hope u understand what im talking about... thinking of it really hurts...
after that i realise that woman are somehow like animals... have to please human... i mean the men.. have to follow what people want.. have to give everything.. and for humans, they take everything for granted and think that THAT animals will not protest, or do not have any feelings for what they say and what they are doing..
after all these years, he told me something which really hurts... i tried to make everything up but he just ignore.. who is at fault??????? me or him????????? he is just angry about things which i consider minor and we can always talk about it but he just want to let me go.. how can he be like that???? i think i should be the one to say that i want to let him go... i wish i could but i don noe why i cant... he make me sad a lot of times.. and everytime i try to tell what i don like, he will immediately say "i think im better off with someone else".. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?????? i cant hold it any longer... you have hurt me many times... since the start of our relationship... i fail one module also because of him... i cant get off with things... first u comment on the way i dress.. next u say i should learn from ur ex.. what are u trying to say?? i don have money to buy a thing... but i still buy it using my first pay... that is ridiculous... i buy everything at one go and u just get angry when i told u this.. to think back, ur ex has nothing to do already...
i had enough of this.. i wonder if i should have a dream of getting married to u.. i don even noe if i still love u... i don have the feeling of making u happy anymore.. each time im with u, i try to make u happy but u just ignore.. i don noe why... the time we spend is nothing more than last time... he just simply want to let me go just because of small arguement.. this is not the first time but a few times already.. i don feel any love from him any more.. wonder if this is true... i have no idea that my relationshiop will turn out like this... maybe u have to really let him go... but i don noe how...
sometimes women are also like relationship breaker... men are sometimes stupid... they don even noe what their intention... and women are sometimes stupid as to insult women indirectly.. this is really stupid.. and men.. sometimes those ex who are like bitches want to get u back and by to achieve that, they can do anything to break ur current gf... isn't that ridiculous?????
hai.. sigh... i don noe what earth have.. people who like to backstab??? people who are evil????
i have been spurting out a lot of things.. and i think he give me this concept.. thats why i have been talking rubbish... i am just angry and cant accept with things that happen...
my life is so miserable... no life.. its like full of tragedy... full of saddness... hai... maybe thats life..
dislike what im going through.. wonder till when i have to go through this.. wonder if i should forget everything... wonder if he still love me like before..
i really don noe...
♥ a butterfly landed @
9:47 AM
