Tuesday, December 27, 2005
MERRY CHRISTMAS to those who celebrate christmas!!
a bit late but i guess its alrite rite??
last week was very fast... my one week hols!! i realise i did not do anything much... went to JB on monday.. it was fun.. had lunch, play pool and watch movie... the chronicles of Narnia and walk around JB.. the movie is great.. i like the way the four siblings fight the witch.. i also like the way the witch fight.. she was cool.. should watch it.. worth ur money.. bought some stuff... then i walk pass some streets... the st look very beautiful but very quiet.. nobody is there and the streets are very dim... thats all.. went to the checkpoint just before 8... coz i have to go home by 10pm...
after that, nothing much..just sit at home and do the appropriate things... today im kind of sleepy coz i sleep late for a few nights.. my siblings don want to go to bed early.. make a lot of noise... today i woke up a bit late.. then i went out of home 10 mins late.. haha.. u guys must think its only 10 mins but actually the TEP will jam at a certain time.. then when i board the bus, some people vomit... and i step on it!! so disgusting... everything was ok..meet huishan and we head for work tgt.. will be going to work with her..
in the morning is a little sian.. got breifing about 9 plus.. then we will have to wait for our someone to fetch us and show our rooms.. me and ruzaini are under the same department.. and we just have to sit and wait for our temp desk.. so i guess thats all for today.. cant blog much...
♥ a butterfly landed @
3:42 PM
Friday, December 16, 2005
today is the last day in sch... the last time I will see my sch will be the day i take my cert... kinda sad to face this reality... i will miss the days where i play games all the time... watching movies and updating my blog... oh yah... this may be the last time i will blog... cos i doubt i have the time when i serve my industrial attachment... this will be a sad time... i will miss the white board which have the crazy taxi score board... oh yah.. talking about crazy taxi.. i was in the 2nd place when everyone first started... and art is always the first... the winner... but as days went by, im lazy to upgrade my score... so i stop the moment i score with 28 customers... now when i see the score board, im the fifth... so fast rite... hahaha... but im just lazy... i prefer playing puzzle fighter... more exciting... im going to miss these things... now the board is full of christmas wishes and drawings... its kind of beautiful... haha.. but full of nonsense...
im stuck with flu for at least three days.. including today... hope i will be ok as time goes... now there is briefing for my next phase of life... later we will be celebrating... i mean a small farewell party... just having pizza... now i cant blog for at least one week because i don have a computer at home... so at least one week... after that, i don noe if i have a time to blog...
will update when i have the time... signing out....
♥ a butterfly landed @
12:55 PM
Monday, December 12, 2005
I think its quite a while since i blog... for the first time in TEP, i did not come to sch... haha... but it was a bad thing for me... i was very sick last friday... early in the morning i vomit... at about 3a.m... that was very early... at first i thought it was nothin.. but then an hour later i vomit again... so...went to see a doctor coz i cant stand the pain in my stomach.. my stomach is growling too much that it really hurts... i cant even sit up straight.. feel like vomitting.. i have to lie in bed to make myself feel better... the doctor said that i have gastric or food poisoning.. but i don noe wat i eat which leads me in this situation.. then went to Mac... my sis and my mother wants breakfast.. so i have to bear with the smell and all that stuff.. quickly take my medicine and lie a while...
then went home... i slept the whole day... woke up just to take medicine... then sleep again... that is how i spend the whole of friday... i sleep until saturday... feeling a bit better but still my stomach hurts... don feel like vomitting.. so i guess getting better.. but still i don eat anything solid.. so i eat friuts which is only a few pieces... i was really on a diet for these two days.. i don feel hungry or something... still sleep and take medicine... i sweat like hell... for that two days... then sunday came... i took the first meal.. which is kind of unhealthy... i eat maggi in the morning... suddenly feel hungry and decide to try to eat some solid food... but then that is only half a packet... then in the afternoon, i start to shiver.... i ate choc and some friuts again... then went out after feeling better...
went to watch The Descent... it was somehow scary to think of it again... especially the ending... should watch.. it was worth it... i cant sleep properly last night... it was the first movie i covered my eyes for a few minutes... there are some violence in the show but shocking too... the beginning was quite boring but need to watch the beginning to know what is going on... those who are weak at heart should not watch la.. it was gross also... the killing and stuff...
then went to have dinner.. at PP.. ate prata but had a few mouthful only.. i said that the smell of the tomato sauce make me feel like puking... so i ate a bit only... then went to play lan game but in the end i din play... it was entirely different... everybody there is like so expert and me?? i am nothing... i tried playing CS but cannot be compared with the one at sch...
now im feeling much much better than the one on friday... but my stomach still hurts.. i think there is wind in my stomach.. haha... that is how i spend my weekend... sick and lots of sleep...
♥ a butterfly landed @
10:10 AM
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
sometimes, the above title is rite... this is rite when there is something interesting happening... for now, i have things to do... other than play games like puzzle fighter and crazy taxi... it is CS and warcraft... time passes really fast... i din blog for a few days.. well... playing games...now addictted to both CS and warcraft... have guys to play with.. art who don noe how to play CS also get the disease... haha... even siew chun also get addictted.. now when there is nothing to do, what is in our mind?? CS is the answer... haha... it is fun to chase and kill people.. it is funny when the person hide and we know where they are hiding.. then shoot them without them realising we are at the back.. but it also depends on the map... as for us, the freshies, like the iceworld more than any other place... tried the mansion but not fun.. coz i din even shoot a single person...
yesterday, my frens played CS and me watching fantastic four... then they asked me to join.. it was so tempting that i forward the movie... haha.. keep forwarding... then joe steal that comp after i finished watching the movie... then when he is gone, its warcraft time.... haha.. now i stayed till six just to play that...
so life is good when there is nothing to do...
♥ a butterfly landed @
11:00 AM
Monday, December 05, 2005
wonder what to blog about.. lotsa thinking.. confused with things... wished that life would stop fer a while and let me think of what is happening around me.. wonder if im happy or sad.. had no idea.. or am i trying to run away from reality??? know what i want in life but don noe if i have already get it or all this is just illusion...
my family have been there all the while.. they have been everything towards me.. what they had gone through is not what people think.. i know very much.. its like we are hiding the feelings from each other.. though we always talk and tell what we feel and think, i have a feeling that we are all hiding things..
im really not sure with things... felt that my life is very fast.. its like im running with no directions cum feeling confused... wonder who is my Mr. right... is he the one?? i don noe... wish i got the answer.. i noe i love him but not sure if i want to live with him... it will be my entire life!! that is what im thinking about mostly.. wonder when i will take all this all real.. as... i don noe... i felt like i have a lots of things to say but cant organise my thoughts...
today i went to sch late.. cos i want to escape from the guy i talk about earlier.. went to a near-by shop to accompany my mother to buy things to cook today.. then after that i went to sch.. looking around me... yah.. scared if that guy is around.. but then no sight of him.. so happy.. haha.. then now in sch like usual... nothing to do.. waiting for afternoon programme... if there is...
♥ a butterfly landed @
11:15 AM
Friday, December 02, 2005
ok... i will have to start with what happen yesterday...
i watched a movie.. forget the title.. then i played warcraft... i get to built some.. heroes.. haha but din fight much.. conquered some gold mines and help fight some enemies.. still learning... had fun... then continue playing crazy taxi.. a game for the whole of KM life... then in the evening my bf fetched me.. thought he wanted to make up for what happen the previous day but then he just send me home... isn't it irritating??? i suggested to have something to eat but then both of us are broke so he decided to sit somewhere to talk things out... he said sorry and he never mean to say that though it is true sometimes..
he also said he never want to let me go.. he said that out of anger.. thats ok for me.. but just make my love for him gets lower... everything was ok and it makes me feel better cos he fetches me without me asking.. that is ok... cant expect more cos he is too broke...
So here is where i find REALLY IRRITATING!!!!
every morning, i will take 86 to sch.. since i start my attachment at sch, i usually sees this guy.. he is tall and always wears a cap.. i don notice him until he stares at me.. not once but ALWAYS!! and now, he even have that sly smile on his face whenever he sees me... it kind of freak.. scare and make me feel like giving him a punch... everytime i saw him at the bus stop i use to board but now he boards at seletar camp... that is even more irritating... i came out of my house later than i use too but still saw him... today, i was at the rear of the bus.. thinking that i will never see him which makes me happy.. then when the bus stop at seletar camp, i saw him... tried to avoid him seeing me.. BUT he saw me.. that is like shit... he gave that irritating smile again!!! he stood at the front.. then he even tried to face me... that is VERY VERY IRRITATING!!!
luckily he alights one bus stop before i alight... or else i don noe what will happen... BUT when he alights, he stared at me again and give that irritating smile... until the person who sits beside me look at me...he even tries to get closer to me... looks like a foreigner to me... isn't it irritating????? wish i will never see him... tmrw i shall go to sch earlier... hope not to see him....
now in sch still doing nothing...
♥ a butterfly landed @
10:41 AM
Thursday, December 01, 2005
its so early to start blogging... everybody blogs at night or before bed but me?? in the morning.. at the start of the day...
Yesterday something really bad happen.. i had a so-called huge arguement but then it leads to something shock... he just said something which makes me really confused and want to cry or shout things out loud.... it have gone more than three years and he easily want to let it go... i was just asking a few questions and he suddenly make a sudden decision... i cant mention it but i hope u understand what im talking about... thinking of it really hurts...
after that i realise that woman are somehow like animals... have to please human... i mean the men.. have to follow what people want.. have to give everything.. and for humans, they take everything for granted and think that THAT animals will not protest, or do not have any feelings for what they say and what they are doing..
after all these years, he told me something which really hurts... i tried to make everything up but he just ignore.. who is at fault??????? me or him????????? he is just angry about things which i consider minor and we can always talk about it but he just want to let me go.. how can he be like that???? i think i should be the one to say that i want to let him go... i wish i could but i don noe why i cant... he make me sad a lot of times.. and everytime i try to tell what i don like, he will immediately say "i think im better off with someone else".. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?????? i cant hold it any longer... you have hurt me many times... since the start of our relationship... i fail one module also because of him... i cant get off with things... first u comment on the way i dress.. next u say i should learn from ur ex.. what are u trying to say?? i don have money to buy a thing... but i still buy it using my first pay... that is ridiculous... i buy everything at one go and u just get angry when i told u this.. to think back, ur ex has nothing to do already...
i had enough of this.. i wonder if i should have a dream of getting married to u.. i don even noe if i still love u... i don have the feeling of making u happy anymore.. each time im with u, i try to make u happy but u just ignore.. i don noe why... the time we spend is nothing more than last time... he just simply want to let me go just because of small arguement.. this is not the first time but a few times already.. i don feel any love from him any more.. wonder if this is true... i have no idea that my relationshiop will turn out like this... maybe u have to really let him go... but i don noe how...
sometimes women are also like relationship breaker... men are sometimes stupid... they don even noe what their intention... and women are sometimes stupid as to insult women indirectly.. this is really stupid.. and men.. sometimes those ex who are like bitches want to get u back and by to achieve that, they can do anything to break ur current gf... isn't that ridiculous?????
hai.. sigh... i don noe what earth have.. people who like to backstab??? people who are evil????
i have been spurting out a lot of things.. and i think he give me this concept.. thats why i have been talking rubbish... i am just angry and cant accept with things that happen...
my life is so miserable... no life.. its like full of tragedy... full of saddness... hai... maybe thats life..
dislike what im going through.. wonder till when i have to go through this.. wonder if i should forget everything... wonder if he still love me like before..
i really don noe...
♥ a butterfly landed @
9:47 AM
